A lady I love has been having issues with an outspoken difficult person. She emailed me her difficulties and I was inspired to give her this answer:
"The boys in the following story are grown, married, and have families now, so this happened sometime back and far away.
I knew someone just like the one you wrote me about. His name is Kurt. He had a horrible childhood and grew up tough. His wife is a sweet woman with the patience of a saint. She and I taught together in the same school. Her three boys each had a different learning difficulty and Kurt kept bringing street people in to live in their house while they straightened out their lives (usually one at a time). Kurt fixed most of them through his love for Jesus and his understanding of their situation in life. Seriously, I would not have put up with what Gina did.
But Kurt was just plain rude to me. I'm guessing he was rude to most people (except his family). Sometimes he said things to me that made me go home and weep. Then he started going to the church I was attending and there was no place to hide.
One Sunday morning, my sister and I walked into the church and there was Kurt. I said to him, "Hi, Kurt. How are you doing today?"
He answered, "Much better before I saw you."
Everyone in the room gasped at the same time and turned to look at me for my reaction. The pastor's wife, who is gentle and soft-spoken, asked me, "Are you going to let him get away with that?"
God gave me the grace to shrug and say, "It's only Kurt."
Everyone in the room visibly relaxed and Kurt was not ostracized, which he would have been if I had given a harsh word. The men in the church took to calling him "Kurt-eous", calling into being that which was not. lol
"The boys in the following story are grown, married, and have families now, so this happened sometime back and far away.
I knew someone just like the one you wrote me about. His name is Kurt. He had a horrible childhood and grew up tough. His wife is a sweet woman with the patience of a saint. She and I taught together in the same school. Her three boys each had a different learning difficulty and Kurt kept bringing street people in to live in their house while they straightened out their lives (usually one at a time). Kurt fixed most of them through his love for Jesus and his understanding of their situation in life. Seriously, I would not have put up with what Gina did.
But Kurt was just plain rude to me. I'm guessing he was rude to most people (except his family). Sometimes he said things to me that made me go home and weep. Then he started going to the church I was attending and there was no place to hide.
One Sunday morning, my sister and I walked into the church and there was Kurt. I said to him, "Hi, Kurt. How are you doing today?"
He answered, "Much better before I saw you."
Everyone in the room gasped at the same time and turned to look at me for my reaction. The pastor's wife, who is gentle and soft-spoken, asked me, "Are you going to let him get away with that?"
God gave me the grace to shrug and say, "It's only Kurt."
Everyone in the room visibly relaxed and Kurt was not ostracized, which he would have been if I had given a harsh word. The men in the church took to calling him "Kurt-eous", calling into being that which was not. lol
He did change some. Kurt will never have all of his rough edges smoothed off, but I don't think it would be good if he did. Who would reach the hurt people that he can touch? I don't have the make-up to do it, so I need to leave room in my heart and God's kingdom for the difficult people who love Jesus.
You must have a "Kurt" in your life somewhere and you love them anyway. Think of them when you think of your difficult person - and don't hang out in that place if he bothers you so much. Let him talk to people who are more like him. He can do some good for those people."
Just thought I would share that and let you ponder what to do about the Kurts in your life.
God bless us all,
Kathi Linz
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